Day 90 - Gambarimashita!

Welcome to my peak! For those of you outside Japan, 'gambarimashita' means 'I did my best!'
I'm proud of what I've done with the help of this awesome program, the guidance of Chen and Patrick, and of course, my fellow PCPers. As I stand at the peak, I look across at the rest of my gang standing on their own mountain tops, people I have to thank  - Kristi, Yeeman, Ricky, Shirley, Paul, Jon, and all of the other people who helped me so much. I shout and give them a wave of triumph. We made it!

This long post is in eight parts


1. My banner
2. The PCP mindset
3. PCPing and a better planet
4. PCPing and feminism
5. PCPing and relationships
6. The next adventure
7. Thank you
8. Conclusion


1. My banner


Diet


This was without a doubt the most satisfying part of the PCP and one that I felt most secure about. I had already done some online coaching to improve my eating habits, but PCPing went much further. Weighing food became second nature, making bento boxes a pleasure, shopping meant I saved a load of money. 


I thought, erroneously, that PCP-ing would have me cutting back, but was delighted to be told to eat more. Patrick and Chen grasped from my photos that I have a body type (ectomorph, hard-gainer) I'd need to 'keep the tank very full'. I ate and I ate and I ate. Lots of fish, lots of eggs, piles of veg, carbs in moderation. Comments from colleagues on my food included


'Are you feeding the cat?' (on seeing a plate of veggies and fish)


'What is this, voodoo?' (on seeing me separate an egg yolk)


'Are you really losing weight on this diet?' (Again, on seeing a plate of veggies, bread, fish). 


It really is a relief to know that I can eat well and enjoy it. 


Two tips:


1. Eat food, not too much, mainly plants (Michael Pollan)
2. If man made it, don't eat it


Of course, we can't live by this 100 per cent, but in today's food environment, we need to think this way!

Food eaten out adapted for PCPing by ordering extra veg!

Brown rice sushi roll, a la Youtube. Egg inspired by St. George

Fitness


Doing jump rope everyday strengthens your heart muscles, lungs, and teaches better breathing. On day 90 I belted out my record 630 odd jumps in a row very comfortably. After week 1, my jinga (the basic step in capoeira) got much more fluid and powerful. The diet of wholefoods really helped me feel lighter and more like exercising and moving. 

Better fitness = better breathing

Better breathing = better voice

(One tip I hope you won't judge me for...Sleep in workout clothes, so you don't have any time to waste for morning jump rope!)


Strength


I upped my muscle percentage with alot of work. I pushed myself hard during workouts to feel a good burn. And did my best to get enough sleep, so my muscles would build. Now I feel a real solidity to my body where before I was just soft. It's an awesome feeling and I plan to continue to build my muscles. I was most pleased with how my shoulders developed, but also with my torso and arms. The exercises I found hardest were the legups, press ups, pullups. Legups got better and turned into good V-sit ups. Pressups made me feel like GI Jane. Pullups are in my future!


Three tips for building muscle


1. Go after a strong burn. Days when you just get through should be the exception. 
2. Sleep! The weeks I skimped on sleep showed poorer muscle growth. 
3. Expect a cycle of energy and slump. Muscle tissue gets shredded before reforming as new muscle. 

Capoeira


Doing so much for the PCP (expect to spend a lot of time shopping/cooking/cleaning!) meant that my capoeira time got cut back. However, my instructor Cacapa and I can see a difference. I'm more confident, my moves are stronger and more decisive, and I ask more questions. I need to now work on my musicality and learn the instruments for the roda. 

Barbara Stanwyck


I chose her for her sassiness and poise. As the weeks went on, the people in my group and the people who were ahead, especially Chris and Molly, became my role models. Thank you!


2. The PCP mindset (A-E-I-O-U)


A = Animal. 


Wild animals eat when they need food and they eat what is needed. They move and rest at the right time. They do not eat for comfort, worry about their appearance, step on scales or any other nonsense. 
Their main characteristic is functional excellence. Human animals have the ability to know what to eat, how much to rest, and move for a healthy life. 


E = Educated


The paradox of modern life with processed foods and sedentary lifestyles is that modern humans have a distorted relationship with their bodies. During the PCP program we learn a lot of important information on how to care for our most precious gift. Topics such as muscle growth, how to eat well, hydration, exercise, mind/body, sleep. I've really enjoyed this part of the PCP. Patrick, you have a real gift for explaining how the body works in a way that is both accessible, and awe-inspiring. 


I = Intuitive


The way that we apply this knowledge is going to be largely intuitive. I think I have a relaxed confidence in my body now. I trust that it will tell me when something needs adjusting. I just have to listen.


O = Optimistic


Having a strong and intimate understanding of my body can only make me more optimistic about life in general. Of course, bad things happen - the biggest earthquake in Japan's history happened on my Day 11. However, for a lot of people, including myself, the discipline of the PCP was very grounding. And the endorphines of a great workout or skipping session are better than any night of drinking! 


U = Understanding


We've all fallen from the PCP wagon in some way shape or form. And we signed up for this thing! So while we've gone through some radical changes, we won't judge others (or ourselves come to that) when we see people eating badly or not exercising. We can share what we've learnt with those who really want to know and ask. Live by example, stay chilled!

Educated, intuitive, optimistic, understanding, ANIMALS

3. PCP-ing for a better planet


If everyone did the PCP at some point we'd see


1. More demand for a variety of whole foods. Perhaps more biodiversity. 
2. Lower rates of life-style related diseases, diabetes, heart disease, cancers. 
3. Greater happiness all round

A PCP-ed out world? Nice thought. 

4. PCP-ing and feminism

PCP-ing puts women in charge of how they look and feel, plus cheering on other women. 

"Well, I think I look nice" Julia Roberts as Erin Brokovich

5. PCP-ing and relationships


PCP-ing will raise your expectations of yourself and others. This usually is a good thing, but if a relationship isn't working out, then you'll probably find yourself doing a bit of rethinking. And you'll feel pretty vulnerable too. 


Tip: Use the blogs to make connections, relax, have fun, and get support. Because sometimes, you just won't get it from people you want it from. 


Generally, PCP-ing will be good for relationships by making you a more open and relaxed person. 

Who can resist us?

6. The next adventure


I want to learn and do more with capoeira, get a real career in radio, travel more. Maybe to Kristi's house as she seems to be a good cook and knows some interesting places. I also want to get a meditation practice going. I think this will be an investment for life; just like the PCP has been. 

7. Thank you 

Deep gassho to Patrick and Chen for your insight, plans, encouragement. Patrick, I appreciate you working out with me at the end of a heavy Sunday schedule. 


To all my fellow PCP-ers who made me laugh, encourage me, made me think, inspired. Good luck with the next journey!


To my colleagues, especially Tracy, Russell, and Joy, for encouragement, practical advice, and taking photos. 


To Hayden, for the encouraging emails and being an awesome listener. 

No trouble keeping balance after PCP!?

To my friends at Bantus Capoeira Japan, Cacapa, Bolinha, Abelinha, Cafune. 
You'll see much more of me at class now!


8. Conclusion from Oscar Wilde

'Nothing should reveal the body, but the body'

Day 70 - The food not eaten and reflections on my progress

• Temptation is everywhere!

Omiage (food souvenirs) at work after people return from travels abroad during Golden Week. This was taken at 11.50 and most of the chocolates my boss from LA brought are gone. It's eating to see how the paper cases have got dishevelled because people have just reached in, grabbed what they like, and not cared if the chocolates get a bit jumbled. I know because I used to be one of these people. Junko, a Japanese colleague, brought Japanese sweets, maybe manju cake with a bean filling. I expect they are way lower in sugar than chocolate. These are still popular, but I saw quite a few just sitting
unwrapped on the Japanese staff's desks. 


The Japanese will probably eat their cake before lunch as the foreigners did, but probably much more slowly and seated, not on the hoof. In the far corner are some small pieces of candied fruit in chocolate brought by Bill, a guy who went to Taiwan. This omiage wasn't that popular - I guess because the foreigners who would go for chocolate had something much more indulgent looking in the form of the box of chocs from the US. Plus it was open which equals a big 'Come on down!' to most people.

And who really wants to make chocolate 'healthy' by adding fruit anyway? My colleague Tracey recently put out some delicious looking homemade white chocolate and cranberry muffins that her teenage son rejected because they had fruit in them. Go figure!

• Progress

I've got good at ignoring the omiage tray and in the past I'd be one of the people who ate just because it was there. It's taken about a year to unlearn this habit. Now I regularly make a good decision about this. I enjoy the feeling of saying no to this and yes to gorgeous colorful vital fruit. I get to do this every day an easy way because I eat fruit daily at 11. As people bring omiage every couple of weeks on average, declining it is a bit harder. It's not part of the daily routine. I always manage though and feel proud and independent.

• A gentle discipline

It strikes me that as emotional eating in the form of my Winnie the Pooh incident happens very seldom. I don't get that emotional regularly. So the craving feeling is experienced as something much darker and threatening.

If I can draw on the skill I demonstrate in front of a stupid tray of sugary goods, I can learn to handle darker moods without going on a sugar binge. And I will.

• Find the bright spots!

PCP-ers, let's not overanalyse our weaknesses. Find the bright spots where things go well, and copy that success into the darker places!   

Day 60 - Be tough on yourself before temptation

Congratulations everyone at Day 60! Woohoo! I hope that you all celebrated! 

I made a new drink for post workout. I'm supposed to have low fat milk/yogurt and an egg white. I made it more fun by adding powdered cloves, cinammon, and nutmeg on top. The egg white is raw and then it's zapped together. I call it Ripped Little Girl because I got my workout done in 54 minutes. 

Anyone else got some cool ways with our milk allowance?

One satisfying thing today was planning much earlier than I thought I needed to. Had to buy some proper dance shoes for tomorrow's shoot and knew that if I left finding a place to eat in Shibuya until after I'd done it - it wouldn't happen. Ideally, I'd have packed a lunch, but sometimes there's only so much cooking/prepping you can do before you need to get out, so I went into a place where you can assemble your own lunch from big trays of veggies/fish/rice balls. They do ready made bento there too, but with the self service you get to make better choices. I got two pieces of shio (salt) saba fish and then 4 kinds of veg, and then weighed the rice ball. It was way over my allowance, as was the fish - so carved it up in Yoyogi park, put the remainder in small tupperware to take home and enjoyed an imperfect but fairly compliant meal watching everyone exercise. I even saw some teenage boys jump roping and felt a little smidge of pride. 

The cool thing about being picky with the grams came later. When I got home around 5 pm a couple of friends asked me to their apartment "Want to join two queens for strawberries, cheese, and champagne to celebrate the wedding of the next queen?" I've housesat for this couple and know their tv is truly huge, so of course I accepted. There was very little time to prepare. Prepare my stomach that is. I knew that I couldn't go into that situation without some lining. I threw a tin of tuna with the remaining fish from the morning, and pre-prepped potatoes and avocado. And some beansprouts plus other leftover veg on the side. It wasn't pretty and it wasn't even warm, but it was satisfying and delicious. 

Cycled to their place, announced that I'd be toasting with diet coke, then ate 5 strawberries while they ate french bread and squidgy Brie  and strawberries and champagne. One of them who hadn't heard about the PCP and was suprised I was declining posh champagne asked 'Why? Are you ill?' I said 'You don't want to see what's under my shirt'. He didn't either. 

---- 

I take two things from Day 60

1. Be tough on yourself before you are tempted by others. It's easier to have it out with the devil and angel on your own. 

2. One good meal usually leads to the next one being good - virtuous circle. 

Day 58 - Your heart and nerve and sinew

Marines cross a revien in Korea, a photo by United States Marine Corps Official Page on Flickr.
 
If you can make your heart and nerve and sinew
Serve your turn long after they are done,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you, 
Except the will that says to them 'Hold on'.

Rudyard Kipling. 

This morning's mail from Patrick was one of my favourites of the PCP so far. Great tips on how to stay strong - have a mantra, think of your Day 90 shots, think of the inspiration person or someone else who gets to you. I haven't put a picture of Ms. Stanwyck anywhere I look during my workout, but I do have an image of a woman running (Pepsi Ad) on my fridge. I also think of PCP-ers who've recently completed and those who are challenging themselves everyday along with me. 

Today I woke super early again, and got through my workout before leaving the apartment. I find a mantra keeps me going during jump ropes and a mixture of getting psyched and being relaxed is needed for muscle work. If I get too intense about it, I lose my count!

Music! Of course, rock will get you amped - I love Jango for getting a quick hit of something I like and then suprised at the next track it plays - it's supposed to be similar to the artist or song you selected before. Good fun!

If I'm in a mood to be distracted, I'll go to the BBC's homepage.

And sometimes I rely on nothing except being bloody minded. 

What are you all doing to get through these bastard sets?

Day 54 - (Over) Indulgence 2

So the mission to consume 700 - 800 calories was successful!

The Chosen One was a 'Queen of Marron Dessert' that was just heavenly. I'd planned to eat it with a matcha taiyaki, thinking that it would be about the right no. of calories. Of course, when I biked to the shop, they didn't have matcha, so I consumed a 'soycream' one. That was fairly indifferent and salty. The best thing about that was the bit of thick pancake around the tail and the first 3 bites.

I had my best buddy, Hayden, over to have lunch (home made sushi rolls!) and join me on the indulgence, so I lied to myself decided to share some matcha icecream. He had an apple caramel pie and I had to nag him to let me sit down and join him otherwise he'd have finished eating before me! The matcha icecream wasn't his thing, so I put it in the fridge for later  consumed all of it myself. OINK.

The marron and icecream was truly a wonderful combination - slightly bitter and green creaminess against the nutty and slightly lemony notes, and lighter cream of The Chosen One.

I'd say the cheesecake last time gave me a bigger hit. But then I'd already slashed up some taste buds with the salt from the taiyaki. When it comes to indulgences, simpler is best for me.

I got a bit of leg tingling and after eating Hayden asked 'You okay?' as I had my head in my hands. I was TIRED from that food.

The original plan was to go to the Sassy Girl dance class and then come back but there was champagne and cake for someone's birthday. Obviously, the smart move would be to ask for a small slice of cake and put my glass of fizz down in the general mingling. Obviously, I did not take that option. I'll be posting pictures later.

Came back to my home station, biked home, and jumped in the rain. Had a really good session - in the rain and wind, got into the groove I'd missed for a couple of weeks. See how much the sugar helped!
That took away some of the mild disgust I felt about having the cake and champagne. This wasn't really in the BF wedding type celebration and I could've handled it much better! And one more confession - last night I overate about 30 g. of protein in the form of small dried fish in sesame. It was just the same as eating a bag of potato crisps in terms of chasing the taste in my mouth.

I have questions about life post PCP - like 'Do we schedule treats in once in a while?' and the big one 'Can I be trusted?' Because I really don't want to go back to where I was two years ago. Food is good, life is short, but the pleasure of taste is shorter and more transient than the joy of a body that is in shape.

Back to the grind tomorrow. I can't wait.

Day 53 - In which I won't get away with it.

I'm too tired to write sentences today, so here is a list on the theme

'Don't let myself get away with it'.

1. Night class tonight, I'm hungrier than usual, sore from morning jumps before breakfast
2. How on earth will I do my muscle work out?
3. Capoeira shoes and resistance band are in my rucksack; park near office - check
4. Home made sushi roll for dinner in workplace fridge - check
5. Goofy man in lycra waiting for me at home - check
6. Muscles coming through in unlikely places - check.
7. Determination to not overthink and do it one day at a time - kind of checked.
8. Seven tickets to Niwa no Yu Onsen - check
9. My best buddy over for lunch tomorrow - check
10. The belief that all these little things will add up to something lovely - CHECK!

Happy Friday!

Day 47 - Gratuitous shot of Barbara Stanwyck and some remarks on motivation

Isn't she just fabulous!


I'm going to a dance class at FAB Academy, Roppongi in about five minutes. It's a five week course leading to a fashion shoot with choreography, 'glamour' shots, and poses given by Kiki. This kind of thing is a bit scary, but the group are all very cool (all ladies) and the instructor, (a gay guy) tells us how to be feminine, drawing on his experience as a drag artist. It was pretty interesting advice - find what it is that makes you as an individual feel sexy. For example, he could never get his hands to move like a woman unless he had gorgeous nails on. It might be how you tie your hair, how a garment sits on you, a colour, a smell, a favourite accessory. This advice is good in so far as it means you explore what is personal to you and claim it as part of your own original sass factor.  Individuality combined with pleasure is very sexy. 


For PCP-ers though this call to individuality is much much deeper. We are not just exploring how to adorn our bodies here. This project is graft: breaking down, rebuilding, using, restoring, nourishing. Every time we weigh food, get off the couch, say no to fake food, and yes to real food, go to bed early, decline something. There are rules that are tough, but - on the individuality theme - we all find our own way to make them work for us. Some people work out early, others late, some while children sleep, others like Molly in the group ahead, with their family. Some people eat out, others at home, others make PCP boxed meals and eat them on the fly. We all have different MOs - it's SO interesting to read everyone's blogs. 


I love the fact that I can choose so much of what I get to do, but also that the framework is a proven one. Moreover, it is working for me. I am losing fat, toning up, and feeling quietly stronger each day. This process has been mostly good days, but there is usually a bit of time in every day when I have to remind myself of the bigger picture. Today's low was around after lunch which was the time I'd set aside for muscle workouts. I really did not want to do it and I did want to eat the remaining rice from my bento. (Half the bento remained!)  I was tired and that vinegary rice was tasty, dammit. 


Point for the Valley Dwellers: We don't have to feel 'ra-ra-rah!' Just put one foot in front of the other. 

Day 42 - Another one down

That was the week that was...Week 6. I don't feel that I really pushed myself with the exercises as they were pushing me. I've had some real highs with feeling strong and powerful. And tired too, especially at the weekend. I'm determined to jump early tomorrow.

I think the main places I can get stronger with all this is being more on top of the diet in terms of prepping even more at home so I don't eat the salty fish that is delicious, but not strictly PCP. I also want to have a stronger week with my form, posture, and really making every exercise count. Compared to a couple of weeks back when I felt searing tiredness and soreness in my shoulders and legs, this week has been easier.

Today when I got home and got changed I saw a real change around my middle. Like I am starting to have a middle!

Gambatte minnasan!

Day 18 - TGIF

Short post as pretty tired. Biked home and had a better workout with
the jumprope. Lunch was eaten out and far too salty. Need to ask about
canned fish...
Very glad to make it to Friday!

Day 16 - Running out of my office and hanging in there

The angst over the nuclear situation is taking its toll - I left the office early (I was the only one who did as far as I know) during the afternoon's short quake.

Went home and slept for about 4 hours which was great and what I needed. I feel like I am doing so little, but I'm just trying to stay level. Doing PCP stuff is helping, giving me a bit of routine, and discipline. That said, I am eating more than my allowance, not massively, but a bit more. Asked Patrick for advice today and looking forward to the reply.

One other routine that is helping is going to the sento (public bath) pretty much every night. It's a typical local sento in a rather dilapidated but scrupulously clean building. There are always fresh flowers in the reception, television on, friendly staff who ask about me. And today two local women asked me about why I was quicker than usual and about how I was doing. They were laughing and smiling, talking about cats sensing quakes, and people snoring through them.

Secrets to keeping through a crisis seem to be connection to others, humour, a gentle discipline. Although today I tightened the bands!

Weight is down by nearly 1.5 k. since starting PCP but muscles are developing. Definitely feeling a burn and deep readiness for sleep.

PCP-ers who are further down the line, how do you reward yourself for sticking with it when you can't dial a pizza or have a beer?