Day 78 - An assay on fitness, muscles, and sex

(This is a long post I drafted at the weekend - feel free to come back to it!)


A definition of 'FIT' as it is used in British English.


FIT: (Adjective) Attractive, often sexually so. Said of a person or of their body, e.g., "See that guy at the bar? He's fit. I think I'll ask if he wants a dance."


How do fitness, sexiness, and muscles come together? It's going to get a little steamy here...


Physical power


When we are fit we carry ourselves well, move well, and move with greater power and control. I'll also add that when you do muscle work, experiencing a burn and pushing yourself, you gain insight into how your body feels. One comment people make when they start exercising muscles is 'I hurt in places I didn't know I had'. When you can be strong and fit on your own, you have a lot to bring to the whole sexual experience. 


In Ken Robinson's wonderful TED Talk he talks about about the importance of teaching kids how to use their bodies and jokes about university professors 'They look upon their body as a form of transport for their heads'. Let's not be like that!


By knowing and pushing our bodies through challenging workouts, we learn more about who we really are. We have more to give to ourselves and the other person.


Women, run away from the circus and get really sexy

Patrick has gone into some detail on the post on the fitness/muscles/sex connection as it relates to men. I'd like him to do a post like that for women! Patrick, feeling brave?  Okay, I'll handle this one then....


One line of discussion for women doing the PCP is the effect of lost cup size as the body eats up fat from everywhere. Women have different feelings about this - I've certainly gone down, and I don't mind because, as Patrick said in the Q and A video, a lot of the chest exercises we do actually give us better posture and the 'inbuilt girdle', on the chest just under the breasts. 


I used to think that losing some cup size was a bit of a 'booby prize' if you'll excuse the pun, the tradeoff for my long awaited waist line. But here I am, several sizes smaller, along with other PCP ladies in the same position, and personally, I'm quite happy with how I look. 


Somewhere, somehow, women and men got the idea that big boobs are sexy and small ones are not. Sorry, I must have missed that email. I'm not making a case for or against any size. People like what they like, and that's all good. But in real life, what we think is sexy isn't always what we see in ourselves and the other person. Mainly because most of the time we learn to look outside ourselves for images of what is sexy. Stop all that. It's a moving target made up by the beauty industry to make you feel needy.

(As an aside, most PCP-ers experience a huge boost in the health of their skin because of the great natural food that is going in. Nothing to do with the magic potions that sit on the skin wasting our money. And good skin is verrrry sexy).



But, it's not just about looks is it? It's about movement, voice, smell, taste, touch, and the chemistry that is flying around. The best compliment I ever received was ten years ago now and it came from a completely blind guy in the UK who told me I was 'very attractive'. That kept me going for about a month and I still remember it. It was hugely liberating to realize that it is MORE than how you look.  


Being able to relax and enjoy yourself with your partner means letting go of unrealistic expectations and being cool with yourself. Who wants to make love in the dark or avoid a particular position because it shows something that you think is ugly or unsatisfactory? I don't see animals turning off the light yo!


Presence


I just said how having confidence in our bodies leads to a more relaxed attitude AKA you feel good naked. In Japan people go to onsen and get naked with family, friends, strangers, without any sense that there might be something odd about this. It isn't a sexual thing to be naked unless there is some intention.


So if sex is more than just nakedness, what is it? I think it is presence, intention, and the chemistry. When you are fit and healthy, you are not going to be asking or thinking tiresome questions like 'Do I look fat?' You'll just be relaxed in yourself and interested in the other. A false contradiction is to assume that caring about your body makes you unfeeling towards others. It isn't like this. Putting some time into your body means that your mojo works well. When you feel good, you are more attentive and sensitive, which makes everything, not just sex, way better.

Pleasure


I enjoyed my third indulgence this evening. Having strong muscles means that your metabolism is faster and you can enjoy the occasional treat without worrying about getting overweight. It's about balance - something I struggle with as you saw when I caved to my craving last Sunday. The ideal is to be able to savour the wonderful rich food we have access to in a way that is simple and free, not full of guilt and second guessing. The connection to sex should be obvious, right? Need I go on?


And finally, 


Happiness


Maintaining muscles and fitness stimulates endomorphines, the bodies free 'feel-good' pharmacy. Morrissey aside, most people who are basically happy (and I don't mean 'lala' here), have an inbuilt aura of 'What does she know?'. They tend to make other people happy too and this is attractive. And the sexiness of a happy person tends to be very unique to them. Someone who has presence, enjoys themselves, takes pleasure, and is physically fit...sounds like a sexually fulfilled person to me. 


What do you think?


This was not an easy post for me to write, but I think it was worth doing so.


I would love to know if you have any thoughts on the amazing connections between our fitness, muscles, mind, and sex!